


You're the Sky that I Fell Through

by Arcturus360p



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: 500 Word Chapters, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Drama, Lots of it, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Pain, Suicide Attempt, based on a novel, but there'll be fluff too i promise, choking pain, timeline intertwining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-19 20:35:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9459467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arcturus360p/pseuds/Arcturus360p
Summary: Yuuri was sick.Yuuri was broken.Yuuri Katsuki rams his own car against a tree and made a suicide attempt look like an accident.How would people pick up the pieces?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by Amy Zhang's Falling into Place
> 
> The title was derived from Owl City's If my Heart was a House

This was the first car he ever got. This wasn't as good as the others, it's even in manual transmission. It's an old Mazda model, but still, he learned how to drive it.

"Still got that trash car, huh? You should just give it to the junk shop," a blonde man sneered as he passed by.

As far as he remembered this man shared the same name with him. He's Russian, though.

"Ah, yes," he responded with a small, timid smile. It's not that he didn't have any money to buy a new one, it's just it was quite... sentimental to him.

And the junk shop was probably this car's final destination, anyway.

The blonde Russian kid had quite the sharp tongue, but the brunet knew that the younger man really had a softer side that no one's ever seen.

"Huh? Weirdo," he stormed off and Yuuri watched him enter his own car. It's a red Lamborghini Aventador. The car's engine started and it sped away.

This music and arts university is where the rich people go. It was an international school, and most people here are either the sons of a famous politician or actor.

Going here was a privilege, really. The amenities of the school were great, and they even had their own figure skating team. Yuuri was one of the varsity players here, as well as the blonde Russian a while ago.

Yuuri opened the door to his car and it stuck for quite a while, but at least it opened. He closed the door and started the engines. He drove the opposite way on where he usually goes. His destination was quite far from the campus.

This time, he decided not to play any music and listened to the nature. He stepped on the gas and his car went even faster, that he thought that the speedometer would break.

He decided to leave the window open, and the sound of his engines was almost deafening, that he couldn't even hear his own conscience.

He swerved and stepped on the brakes. There was a loud, earsplitting screech, then. There was no one around this place, and no one would see him.

He planned everything, though it only took him a day to do so. The day, the hour - everything. There was a loud crash and the impact shattered the tempered glass, piercing through his skin.

The airbag didn't activate because he tampered with it. He felt like he broke his arm and leg. Every inch of his body hurt. His blue-framed glasses were shattered. There was blood everywhere, and it hurts so bad. Really Great. Tears started to stream down his face and it hurt. Even crying hurts his unseeing eyes.

That's when he heard an overly familiar voice. How did anyone find him? A voice that brought pain into his chest, and he didn't know why.

The firm voice that he always knew started breaking down until it completely crumbled. That's when everything fell into place.


	2. Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic will be alternating on the "before" and "after" the accident. Kek.

It was the tryouts for the figure skating team of the university.

"That was great, Yuri! Okay, you're in! Next!" the tall man's voice was heavily accented, and everyone in this school knew his name - Viktor Nikiforov, the captain of the team. He participated in the nationals a lot of times and in the near future, it was actually rumored that he'd participate in the European Championships next.

"Wait... That's it?" the blond Yuri approached the brown-haired who was holding some papers on the rinkside who appeared to be the team manager. She was wearing an ID and it says "Yuuko."

"Yeah, because he said so," she smiled at the blond, and Yuri clicked his tongue in annoyance, "It wasn't supposed to be this easy."

"Why, don't you want to be on the team?" Viktor smirked, apparently heard their conversation.

"Tch. Whatever," he got out of the rink and glared at the raven-haired male who was supposed to skate next with no apparent reason.

He greeted him back with a sheepish smile instead and he just looked even more disgruntled and walked away and out. It was his turn next and his heart was beating insanely fast.

"Yuuri Katsuki, right?" the captain flashed a smile, and Yuuri's face flushed a little upon the mention of his name and nodded.

The took off his glasses and placed it on the rinkside as well as the  protectors on his skates and then went to the rink.

He would have to calm down or he'd mess up again, and this was just the tryouts. As far as he knew, his roommate Phichit got accepted. It was a funny coincidence that his dormmate was a figure skater too.

When he assumed his initial position, the music started, and he smiled brightly at the audience.

Today, he'll be the "confident Yuuri". Most of the days, he's not the "confident Yuuri." What does it take to be a "confident Yuuri?" He didn't know either. It just comes and goes like the wind. No one knew who the real Yuuri was.

His performance didn't have too many jumps on it. He only landed a quad, and he stepped out of his salchow again. He tried focusing on his strengths.

Yuuri liked the music a lot - it's the Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven. As the music slowly fades, he did a combination spin and did his last pose and bowed to them.

This performance was for them even if no one in this school really knew his name. Then, he heard a very loud applause from the audience.

Even the manager was tearing up for some reason. The people who were next in line for tryouts was clapping loudly too.

But most of all, the captain's eyes widened in awe. He wasn't speaking for a while.

"Hey, he made it, right?" Yuuko asked excitedly, and he was silent for a while, before nodding, this time, silently.

There was a small smile on the captain's lips. He finally found him.


	3. After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phichit realizes the news a day late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this fic will be non-linear. :3

The news spread like forest wildfire as soon as it can be. Phichit almost dropped his beloved phone when he heard two girls talking as he was walking in the hallway.

"Hey, did you hear? Katsuki got into an accident."

It wasn't like him to grab someone's shoulder and _force_  an answer out of them because he gets the information as quick as possible anyway. Not this time, though.

"W-what happened to Yuuri?!" the Thai asked, panicking. The girl blinked and blushed when she realized that it was him.

"Oh hi, Phichit," her chirpy voice was flirty as she twirled her blonde hair with her fingers.

"What happened to Yuuri?" he repeated his question, she acted cutesy and he almost grimaced.

"He's in the hospital. I heard it was pretty bad. They said that a young Russian man brought him there after a car accident. I dunno, his boyfriend maybe?" Phichit ran off without saying 'thank you.'

He still had classes but he would skip them. Of all the people, he must have realized it. Yuuri didn't go back last night.

Yuuri was such a nice roommate and good friend, though he can be a taciturn man at times.

He pushed the ugly thoughts on the back of his mind.

\-----

He arrived at the hospital panting and he asked the nurse on the reception for Yuuri's name. He was lead to the operating room.

There was Viktor, their captain, sitting at the waiting area outside the operating room. His hands were clasped together as if he was praying. Odd, he was never the one who do it.

Though, his tired ocean blue looked up almost immediately when he noticed Phichit's presence.

"Ah, it's you," he smiled, though without any warmth in it - the first thing he had ever seen.

One of the white-cladded doctors got out of the operating room and Viktor sprung up of his seat.

There was a sullen look on the doctor's face and there was suddenly a big lump on Phichit's throat.

"Are you kids his..." the Russian man grabbed the doctor's shoulders and the doctor was surprised.

"What happened to him? Is he okay?" Viktor asked for the both of them.

The doctor brushed off the tall man's hands off his shoulders.

Apparently, he does not want to be touched.

"'Okay' is not the word to describe it. He broke a lot of bones, damaged some internal organs, and his left eye was forever blinded," he explained it to them in words that they would understand, but those were harsher. Phichit's eyes were in shock. "

Yuuri didn't deserve all this," he said softly.

"No one does."

Viktor was quiet as he slowly collapsed down to the metal bench again for he couldn't support himself.

"We managed to stabilize him for now, but still, it's up to him if he'd survive - if he'll fight," the doctor left with those words and neither of them could move.

Paralyzed.

Pertrified.

Phichit closed his eyes and prayed for miracles.


	4. Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two made out in a comfort room.

He was sitting quietly on one of wooden the chairs by the bar counter.

This was supposedly a welcome party for the four who got accepted to the team - him, Phichit, a stern and quiet man named Otabek and the Russian Yuri.

They rented a bar just for it, and all of this was happening under Yakov Feltsman's, their coach, nose.

"Give me more please," Yuuri's voice slurred as he shakily handed his shot glass to the bartender. This was his fourth shot of the cocktail and for some reason, the world is already tilting already. He gets drunk that easily.

The young bartender poured the drink in his glass and he drank it quickly in one go.

Yuuri looked at them through his peripheral vision. Phichit was taking selfies with the girl named Mila - an equally cheerful girl who was the champion of the Junior Nationals. The blond Russian was sitting with Otabek, and both are talking about something that he couldn't hear because of the loud disco music and noises.

The bar was almost chaotic and everyone's doing their own business. Georgi and his girlfriend were already making out, and it seems that Chris had already left with his boyfriend, and heaven knew where they went.

"Hey, enjoying everything?" someone patted his shoulder and he quickly looked up to see their team captain smirking. His face was also red with alcohol.

"Did I tell you that you're very handsome?" Yuuri didn't answer his question.

Alcohol was clouding his mind that badly, he doubted that this was only alcohol. There was definitely something else there - drugs.

"I already knew that." Viktor smirked. Yuuri stood up and smirked and neared his face to him that their noses were already touching. Viktor didn't inch away, instead, he brushed his fingers through his black hair, pushing his bangs back. He could now see his dark hazel eyes better.

"You were so beautiful on the ice, did you know that? I could bet that..." Viktor whispered lowly to his ear, his warm breath brushing through Yuuri's neck.

That flipped his switch. Yuuri dragged him to the restroom. It was a single stall. Luckily, no one's here yet.

He didn't close the door and just pushed the taller man against the wall to kiss him harder than he meant to. Viktor didn't push him away, instead, they vie for dominance in each other's mouth.

A low growl escaped the Russian's throat as the brunet was grinding his hips against his own, and soon enough, they needed to part away for air.

"That was amazing," Yuuri licked his lips.

"You're amazing," Viktor breathed out.

"And I need you two to get out," a different voice snapped out from the doorway.

They looked over to see the young, blonde Russian crossing his arms. He grimaced when they looked at him.

"You guys are disgusting," he spat the last word out like poison.

"I need to use the comfort room. Just get a different room already, idiots."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Motivate me, please


	5. After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiroko Katsuki didn't expect to have to book a flight eight hours aways just to see her son dying

Even after what seemed many hours, they were still not allowed to enter see him, not until they transferred him to the intensive care unit. Yuuri’s mother, Hiroko Katsuki, arrived later the next day, together with her older daughter, Mari. It took her a whole lot of effort for Mari to calm her down. How would you expect a mother to react on this kind of situation, anyway? At least, one of them had to be stronger. 

Only one person at a time was allowed in the room and at least, she managed to stop from crying for now. The only noise in the room was the steady beeping of the machines that indicate that her son was alive. However, he looked nothing like “alive.” The doctors said her son would undergo another operation in a few more days. They would just have to observe him for now, the doctors said. 

Even if he woke up, he would not be able to walk again. 

Mari, Phichit – he met him once when she was talking to her son at Skype, and silver-haired man that were a few years older than her son were waiting outside of the ICU.

She looked at her son. Bandages, casts and all machines to keep her son alive. She wanted to touch his hand, but she could not in fear that it may break. Her son looked so fragile. She started crying again, this time, quietly like a mother who was so afraid of waking her sleeping child up. That’s right, he was just sleeping. 

Hiroko remembered the days when he was just a newborn child. He cried a lot when he was all alone, but when she held his small hands, he stopped crying. 

She remembered all the times she held his hand – when he first learned how to walk, when he first learned how to skate, and even the most random times she held his hand when they were in the supermarket, and taking a random walk at a nearby park. Those simple, yet happy moments flashed back all too suddenly for her to handle.

Yuuri was not a demanding child. As long as he could hold his mother’s hand, he would be fine. She finally touched his son’s hand lightly and gently, like a feather’s kiss. As long as he could hold his mother’s hand, he would be fine. 

Shakily, she got out of the stifling room, and three heads perked up upon the soft creaking of the door. Mari quickly stood up and assisted her mother in sitting down. She felt like all the strength she had dissipated. 

When their telephone rang, she was not expecting a bad news. 

She was expecting her son to call and say ‘hello’ – something that he never did for quite a long while. 

She wasn’t expecting to have to book a flight almost eight hours away just to see her son… The last word was stuck there, she could not bear to imagine it at all.


	6. Before

Apparently, their coach heard of what happened that night, and right now, they are having a scolding of their lifetime. Yakov called all of his members on a sacred hour called the lunch break.

Yakov was crossing his arms and he looked like he was about to burst an artery that Yuuri was actually clutching his phone deep on his pocket so that he could call the emergency hotline immediately, just in case.

How Yakov found out, nobody knows.

“I absolutely would not tolerate that kind of indecency in my team!” he said angrily, but his angry look was directed at the team captain who just seemed to brush it off with a carefree smile. Yuuri looked over at his direction and their eyes met. Viktor winked at him for some reason, and Yuuri did not have any clue why. His eyebrows furrowed a little before looking back at their coach who was still blowing their ears off.

“If you had the time to drink your asses off, then you should just devote your time in practice!”

Yuuri zoned out after that sentence. He still had a terrible hangover. He couldn't remember what happened last night.

From his periphery, he could see the youngest member of their team roll his eyes. Phichit looked so guilty and the Kazakh was still as stoic and expressionless as ever. The older members of the team seemed to be used to it, especially the team captain.

Yuuri felt his phone vibrate. Only a few people knew his number, and he knew that none of them would text him at this hour. If it was an important thing from his mom, he would have received a call instead. It was probably a spam message, he thought.

His attention went back to their coach who was now threatening them that they would be terminated from the team if they were caught like that again.

The school bell rang, indicating the end of the break and everyone looked both annoyed and disappointed. Yakov’s long litany ended with a low growl as everyone walked out of the room and Yuuri bowed in apology to him before leaving. He hurried up to his next class, which was on a different building.

The class was incredibly a drag, and his head was still throbbing against his skull. The page of his notebook was now filled with doodles.

 Sometimes his notes were neat and clean, sometimes it was not. Right now, he was doodling his home, the nearby park as he remembered it. They weren’t very good. It has been a while since he had seen his home.

His phone vibrated again, and this time, he decided to take a peek. There were two unread messages from the same unknown sender.

 

_“Let’s meet after school later <3_

_– Viktor.”_

_“The parking lot sounds nice.”_

 

 

Yuuri furrowed his eyebrows and squinted.

Is this the same Viktor that was their team captain?

What’s with the heart emoji?

Questions flooded his mind.

What the hell?

 

 


	7. After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri and Otabek went in for a ride

“Are you sure you don’t want to go and visit him?” Upon his voice, Yuri looked up from his phone to the taller man and frowned.

 “Why would I?” It’s not like he’s friends with that pig, anyway.

Otabek’s expression stayed blank, but the blond clicked his tongue in annoyance. Otabek was the only person whom he told his secret. If he didn’t, no matter how strong he thought he was, his conscience was still screaming at him. The huge lump in his throat wasn’t gone, still.

 

“I… don’t want to go there… for now.” Yuri’s voice trailed off as he averted his own eyes from Otabek’s. He doesn’t want to go there, not when that pig was at a pathetic state.

 “Hmm, okay,” the Kazakh didn’t press the issue, but instead he handed Yuri another black helmet. The blond caught it in his hands.

 

“Want to go somewhere else, then?” he asked as he fastened his own helmet and started the engine to his motorcycle.

 Yuri contemplated for a little while before nodding, and riding his friend’s motorcycle, leaving his red car at the school’s parking lot. There could only be one place on Otabek’s mind anyway. It was where Otabek took him when they first rode together.

They were all lucky to have the school by the seaside. As they rode their way to a special place for the both of them, Yuri’s gaze was fixed on the sparkling sea that reflects the setting orange sun. They were both quiet throughout the ride, but there was still a slight tension between the two of them.

 

It was only ten minutes away from the school. Otabek parked his motorcycle under the lone tree by the cliff and the blond Russian got down first and took off his helmet. It was a little heavy on his head.

 

The cliff perfectly shows the wonderful view of the setting sun, and the only noise that they could hear were the crashing of the waves and the seagulls’ cry.

 

“Are you okay?” Otabek suddenly shattered the silence between them. It wasn’t the question that Yuri was expecting to be asked, and Yuri winced mentally.

 

“What makes you think that I’m not?” he tried to make his voice as firm as possible, but he knew that Otabek could see through anything.

 

“You have been…” the taller male tried to look for the right words. “…discomforted.”

 

“Tch, I’m not…”

 

“Yes, you are,” his voice was calm as ever, and for some reason, Yuri didn’t dare to meet his eyes. A cold wind blew between them and the fallen leaves swirled in the air. It’s true. Otabek hit the nail right on its head.

 

He had been worried.

 

He was feeling guilty. The guilt was slowly killing him inside, tearing him apart like a monster. No one else but Otabek knew it, but it was tearing him apart.

 

Yuri bit his lips and clenched his fists white. That’s when he felt someone hug him from behind.

 


	8. Before: Dandelions and Snowflakes

It was the first day of his preschool. His mother packed a lot of sandwiches for snacks and some lemon juice too, but none of that mattered to him. He gripped his dad’s jacket tightly as big, fat tears streamed down his slightly chubby cheeks. “Dad, don’t leave me, please…”  


His father ruffled his hair ever so gently, and he always found it comforting. Soon after, he stopped crying. “Don’t worry. I’ll come to pick you up as soon as the school ends, okay?” his father cooed and he sniffled. “Be a nice kid and listen to your teacher. I’ll buy you ice cream soon after,” he smiled and young Yuuri nodded. “Okay.”

His father is always true to his words. He always kept his promises and whenever he says he would always be there, he would _always_ be there. When he promised that they’ll always play during Saturday mornings – whether it be in the park or at their roof (which was supposed to be a balcony, but a railing was never put) or at the bell tower, they always did play. They would always pick places closest to the sky because maybe their wishes would be heard much easier from there.

However, as he stared at the white coffin that was about to be buried six feet under the ground, it only hit him then that promises are always meant to be broken.

It had not hit him well when he saw how his father fell down from the roof. He screamed so hard that his throat hurt so badly. It also attracted the attention of the other neighbors and they started screaming too. It took a few moments before someone actually had the sense to dial the emergency hotline. It took him a lot of hoping but his father was pronounced dead on arrival, and there was nothing the doctors could do to save him. His mother had to pry him away from the doctors when he tried to punch their legs with his small fists.

The next day after the funeral, her mother took him to school. He didn’t cry nor asked her mother not to leave him anymore. He just slowly walked and said nothing.

After school, he went to that bell tower alone even if it’s not Saturday. He slowly went up the steps because his father was not there to race him up anyway. He just sat there like he used to, and before he knew it, he was crying again, crying until he can no longer breathe.

His father and he used to make wishes on dandelions, during spring, but it’s winter now. Would snowflakes be as effective as the dandelions in granting wishes? Maybe neither of them granted anything at all. It just hurt a lot, so he curled like a ball as he rocked himself back and forth.

Just then, slowly and gently, the snow fell and maybe he would take some chances. He would _try_ to still believe in something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit, it has been a while  
> Yeah Grand Chase ate me alive  
> I'm trying hard to be a good Prime Knight XD  
> but yeah.. I will do my best to update regularly from nao on...

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me hear what you think. I'll write the next chapters soon


End file.
